There is nothing more satisfying than knowing you have a good, loving, faithful, trustworthy husband. Nowadays, it is so hard to come across. I know from experience. Currently married and my husband is far from faithful and trustworthy. It's so sad. We were together 5 years before we got married and during that time I've had problems with him and his lies. You know the usual, texting and talking to other females, even found him on a dating website a few times. I shouldve left then but I was so naive thinking he'd change plus I loved him so I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, especially since I had no concrete proof of him actually cheating on me with another girl, or else I definitely would've left him.

Now here we are almost a year into our marriage and he's still doing the same thing. To be honest I shouldn't be surprised. I knew the kind of guy he was before we got married. I'd pray and all the signs were there for me not to marry him but I did anyway, partly for my own selfish reasons, I'll admit. I had recently got hired on at a really good paying job but it was hours from my family and he was already living in the area. I couldn't stay and work a job with no where to live and I didnt want us living together without being married so I decided to go through with the marriage (terrible of me I know). The plan was, however, was that I would work and save as much money as I could and eventually move out, I had no intentions on staying married, hoping he would change because after 5 years it was clear that he wasn't. Plus, I'll admit, there was a small part of me that was hoping that he would because I still loved him, but the sensible part of me knew that he wouldn't.

I know it was wrong of me to go into something as serious as marriage knowing I wasn't planning on staying. I asked the lord to forgive me plenty of times for it but here's what I didn't plan on happening and definitely didn't see coming. I got pregnant 3 months into our marriage 😨. I knew right then and there that my plans on leaving were gone out the window. At this point I had to think about what would be best for my child. I don't want to be a single parent and it wouldn't be fair for my child not to have a chance to grow up in a household with both the mother and father present. I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant and it is our first child for both me and my husband. He is really excited and I know he will be a wonderful father to our son, that was always obvious. I just wish he would be the honest, faithful, trustworthy guy I want him to be. Don't get me wrong, he is a good person, he always treated me good and is a good provider but he's trying to hold on to a single lifestyle even though he's married. I'm at the point where I'm willing to sacrifice my happiness for the sake of my child. I still do want to leave, so badly but I am no longer financially stable enough to do so. I had to quit the good paying job that I initially got married for (karma much?) because it was too physically demanding considering I was pregnant. Now my husband pretty much takes care of all the bills and if me or the baby need things, he's the one that provides it. Boy oh boy am I reaping what I sowed lol. I guess that goes to tell you don't ignore God's signs and warnings, especially if you asked for them. Marriage is a sacred bond and vow that you took before God that you would do what it takes to keep your marriage going and to treat your spouse with the upmost respect and love. So that's what I'm going to do. Instead of leaving like I planned, I will try to work on my marriage and hope that my husband is willing to change. The only tiebreaker would be if I find out and have proof that he cheated on me, that I will not be willing to deal with.

I should also add that during our entire 6 years of being together I have never cheated on him. I wouldn't even dream of it. I dont have male friends, I cut them all off for him and he was suppose to do the same. I'm an excellent wife. I cook, I clean, and I take care of myself. I don't consider myself ugly either. Which is why i don't understand why he would risk it all for a chick that looks looks like the back of a toaster. Which is another reason I wanted to leave him. He don't deserve a loving faithful good wife when he won't even provide the same thing in return. I just feel like that the right guy for me is still out there and he's probably wondering where I'm at lol

Ok post over, feel free to tear me apart in the comment section 😂