venting
My husband and I have a wonderful, beautiful, almost 5 yr old daughter. I'm 30, DH is 28. For the past few years we have been trying. Just in the last few months I have been on fertility blend, charting my cm. And like today, my chart says most fertile, so we did a quickie.... for an hour and nothing. I do think to much when we do have sex. "Work work; almost.. nope; let me; almost..no; I want another baby. No orgasm for either of us, and for some reason he's becoming limp.
He's condent with just having the one child, but I..... I want another😞 and so far it isn't happening. My mother and I talk about what is going on, and she said that my cousin wanted another and couldn't, something todo with her body. Sad to hear.
Then just the last week, my sister in law, whom I don't really care for (cusses,smokes weed, yells and fights all in front of her son)horrible setting period)) is pregnant. And last month she had an abortion!! That pissed me off! But all in all I'm happy for the family. But I... deep inside just wants to scream and cry "ITS NOT FAIR!!! SHES NOT EVEN A GOOD MOM!!"
Last night we went to visit dh grandma for her bday, and everybody is talking about the new baby. I start to tear up. I know selfish. But it just hurts. Dh comes from a hugh family, I am an only child from my mother and dad has 2 girls. But both my parents come from a hugh family. So how come I can't get pregnant!!???
We, my dh and I, have decided that for our Christmas present to us is to go get checked out. And to see if I can be put on clomid. But after that and still nothing... I might have depression.
We have even thght about adoption. I researched, called a few places.... just to adopt a newborn is $48,000!!!!!! A newborn!!! That is ridiculous😡 Then I looked into fostering then adopting. That's just a couple thousand. We can do that. Then I started to look at my state... nothing. So we might look into other states.
Everyone's hungry, so I guess I go make lunch. Thank you for listening to me vent.
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