I give up totally.

So this is me venting. No I'm not venting I am heartbroken.

Its now been 18months and we are not getting pregnant. We have gone to a fertility specialist and he did blood work and internal sonar and everything apart from fertility drugs and ivf.

So this morning I phone for an appointment just to find out our next step would be ivf. We don't have the money for all these fertility expenses and the fertility clinic is 4 hours drive away. And to top it I work for a witch of a woman and she always has a problem giving me leave.

I am starting to loose all hope and this is so not me. I am usually the happy go lucky type of girl. The last year and a half broke my soul and I am spiralling into what I would think is minor depression.

I kind off hate looking at people with babies and don't even get me started on the people who clearly cant afford looking after one, but no they can have 4 or 5.

We would be such good parents. Life is so unfair.

Heartbroken!!!