Do you think this is true too?

Question

That a woman becomes a mother when she is pregnant, but a man becomes a father when he holds the baby?

My boyfriend has been acting distant sometimes and still wants to go out to the bars with his friends until 2 or 3 in the morning on the weekends. Then, he will sometimes want me to come with him.

I guess I am just a lot more excited and I am the one planning everything.

Answer

The closer u get he will get more into it. It took my husband actually feeling our second baby move to start asking how I and baby was feeling and then with my first it wasn't until baby was here that he was really engaged and involved. They don't have the constant reminders that there is a little baby growing and I think with the first they know they are fixed to have their priorities and responsibilities change so they want to crunch in some extra guy time before the new arrival.

Answer

It's hard for the expectant fathers,  even the really excited ones.  It's like they know they are having a baby but it hasn't totally sink in yet.  We start bonding with our babies from the very beginning,  every discomfort,  every kick,  every punch. Baby knows my voice. Heck,  I still sometimes forget that I'm pregnant.  But while the dads know they are having a baby,  the only reminders are our bumps and what we tell them.

My husband is beyond excited.  Right after I told him,  he spent the rest of the evening trying to figure out what needed to be baby proofed.  He's more attentive than usual,  and had been feeling our baby's movements for months now.  Then out of nowhere the other evening,  he goes "It's really happening isn't?  We can't even back out of it if we wanted to, huh?"  This is coming from the man who stays up at 4am researching baby names.  He also sat up in the middle of the night and said " Did you realize that in a little over 2 months,  we will be holding him??" Poor man sounded so bewildered.  I don't think he is really going to feel like dad until he holds our son in his arms.

Answer

You feel everything. Your body changes and you feel all the kicks and pokes and rolls. He doesn't. It's hard for some men to connect. It's like being told "hey you're getting a puppy" and hearing all about this puppy all the time for someone else, and you're excited, but you don't get crazy happy until the day you pick the puppy up and take it home.

I tell my husband he's a daddy all the time, because he already loves and cares for her so much and does what he can to take care of her. But other guys just need to see it to believe it

Answer

I believe you become mother and father right when you conceive or find out your pregnant. My husband and I found out we were pregnant in March and celebrated mother's and Father's Day with each other. I think it has made my husband extremely connected with our baby rather than waiting until after birth for their connection to start.

Answer

Yes I believe that. We feel our baby move and for us it's a real person even in the womb. I think less so for men. It doesn't hit them til they see the baby after it's born

Answer

I think I'm a mother now at 39 weeks. Annoys me when mothers who have given birth say, "oh you'll be a mother soon. "

Really? Cause I've been taking care of this little bit for nine months now.

Answer

I think that men usually need some kind of constant reminder that they are a father now. For my SO, I can tell he is much more responsible and takes a lot better care of me when I am wearing something you can really see my bump in (I'm only 13 weeks). I know once I get bigger any occasional issues we have with him forgetting I am pregnant will go away. Some men do need to meet the actual baby. You get to bond with the baby all the time, feel him move, talk to him. But he doesn't have a constant reminder. As long as you have a good one he will fall right into fatherhood when it is time!

Answer

At first thats what I thought cuz my husband didn't seem to interested in planning/ getting stuff ready for the baby. But he's not really a detail oriented guy. Plus he gets freaked out when the baby moves in my tummy or he heard the heartbeat. I always ask him if he wants to feel his son move & he keeps saying "ill hold him when hes out" (he adores kids and babies but him being inside me freaks him out a little).The last few weeks he has suprised me.. I always playfully grab his hand to feel the baby move & he usually pulls away but the last few times he didnt & stayed on my belly until the baby moved. Also the other day he rubbed my belly and said "Goodnight!" To him. & another time he rubbed my belly to feel his son. It makes me so happy to see how more open he is about feeling him move & that I can see the love he has for him

Answer

I think that it is different for every man. Even my SO wasn't as involved earlier as he is now at 34 weeks and he desperatly wantedto be a father. In his head he knew we were having a baby but he didn't have the symptoms and baby wasn't inside him growing and living off of him. So it took seeing the anatomy scan and feeling her move for it to hit him more. He  feels my belly all the time and makes sure I'm doing everything I need to do. He also was never a parties and doesn't have alot of friends, we're home bodies so we spend most of our time working or together.

Answer

I don't think it's true.  It took my husband until 20 weeks/finding out the gender for him to get that I was pregnant.  Once my bump came, he started asking me how I'm feeling and if he could do something to help.  I tried to get him to feel our boy move.  At 29 weeks, he helps me with more chores, feels my tummy without me asking him and talks to him.  He's still going out once or twice a night (no later than 2am), but he knows within the next few weeks he'll be staying in.  Since I've been pregnant, I've been really needy, but I also understand that he needs his time too and once our boy gets here, he won't be going out much.  I'm letting him have his time until we need to lock down and get everything ready.
Every guy is different, but definitely let him know how you're feeling. It could help him understand you and he may stay in a bit more.  I don't think guys realize that once we're pregnant, it's a constant thing for us.  It may take seeing your bump or feeling the baby or finding out the gender that it'll click to him.

Do you think this is true too?

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