Can't handle it..

I'm a 19 year old, married, first time mom and I'm 6 weeks PP. I absolutely was loving holding and spending time with my baby boy during the first few weeks, but now i can't stand to be in the same room with him for more than five minutes.

I suffer from depression and anorexia all throughout my pregnancy and now it's all just full force. I know I'm suffering from PPD but at this point I almost want to give my baby to his grandma because I feel they take care and love him better than I do...

I also have tried to commit suicide twice in the past week and was admitted for a night. I just feel like there is no light at the end of this tunnel...

All I want to do is love my baby and enjoy being around him but I fear I never will. I just want to be happy..