...my throat ached & my heart sunk
I was laying in bed the other night, when I suddenly began to replay memories in my head I forgot existed. My throat ached & my heart sunk as I lay there as these incidents made their way back into my life.
I remembered laying on a couch, face down, drunk as can be, while my "friend" was hammering me from behind. Not knowing if I brought this upon myself. My face is bright red, ashamed at the thought of it.
I was molested by my sister's dad almost every night for 6 years of my childhood & swore to never let myself be victimized again & I let myself down.
I hate myself. I hate that I let myself get into that situation. I hate that I'm so ashamed. I HATE that I'm so depressed about it. I don't know if I should/how to tell my husband. I haven't been able to sleep & I just blame it on the baby which is awful.
I could just use nice words at this point. I want to be happy for my loving husband & beautiful daughter.
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