Is my boyfriend selfish or using me ?

Question

I'm going to make this short and not so sweet. I have a job and my boyfriend doesn't he's in college but is using colleges as an excuse. We're both 19 and have been together for 4 years. As soon as I have gotten any jobs that I've had he always ask for something and I don't like him being lazy and thinking everything is supposed to be handed to him so I tell him go get a job , and if he buys me something I'll get him something in return. He then gets mad and says he'll get it himself ? Wait what ? Just because I've asked you to buy me something too ? BUT you don't have a job . So where you gonna get the money from. And when he did have a job I was the last thing on his mind . I had to beg for him to pay for my food when I was hungry. I just feel I'm so generous when it comes up to him like WHATEVER he needs I got him he doesn't even have to ask. I feel it should be equal we both can spoil each other. But I'm getting the ugly end of the stick. He doesn't even remember the last time he bought me something. The way he loves me makes up for it. But it still hurts.

Answer

The itsnsomple don't by anything for him he's a big boy he can by his own stuff if he's not working in under u bying the basic needs but beyond that don't !!

Answer

Stop being so generous with your money. You aren't married or sharing a bank account. What you earn you need to keep for yourself since you said sometimes you are hungry I assume you don't have a lot to spare. Money issues can lead to resentment and really drive a wedge between partners. Either you keep it separate and only buy him things when it's warranted or when you have it to spare, or you just share everything and stop thinking of it as your money or his money. Again, since you are not married and just based on your post I don't think you are really ready to combine your incomes. As for if he's using you, maybe. If he's really showing you he loves you perhaps he isn't using you but definitely taking advantage of you. Be careful of that kind of person, particularly of those kinds of guys as they tend to be excellent manipulators. Worry about your own finances and let him worry about his. If he isn't using you, he will not be bothered by that.

Answer

If you want to see if you are being used, you have to stop in any way financially with him. Tell him you don't have the money every time he asks or whatever excuse you can come up with. Try that for about a month and see how things go.

Answer

It sounds like he's not changing anytime and you are in some sort of competition over who loves who more. I'm sure it didn't start this way, you are kind..I'm the same way and your boyfriend though lazy and not being able to afford anything, had a complex about providing for you or proving to himself that he's a man!! Lol. Truthfully, I saw call it quits for 6 months to maybe both grow up a bit

Answer

Stop buying him stuff and you'll find out real quick if he is with you because he loves you or for your money. You aren't married, there is absolutely no obligation on your part to buy him anything and he shouldn't shame you into it

Answer

Stop doing. For him

Is my boyfriend selfish or using me ?

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