Love & Sex
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Bit of a rant involving my marriage
I love my husband but I no longer want to be with him. For the last 6.5 years I feel like I'm the only one who has ever tried in this marriage. My husband does get love-y and shows he cares but those moments are few and far between. Most of the time I feel completely drained and tired. I've been a housewife our entire marriage and I absolutely love it especially since it allows me to stay home with our son. Last year in November he blindsided me with filed divorce papers. That right there destroyed all trust and faith I had in him. We did some marriage counseling and it seemed to help but after a few months he started slipping back into his usual ways and I started feeling not valued and more like a cook and maid again. Fast forward to a couple months ago I was really feeling the dislike and anger towards my husband. On certain days our little boy would ask him for breakfast and he would be told in a minute. Well after this going on for an hour or so I'd finally get it for him and deal with the following fit. Every time I'd try talking to my husband or even our son would we'd get nothing but attitude. Finally, so I wouldn't file for divorce out of anger and frustration I took a mini vacation back home. I spent some time with my mom and Grama and even some old friends. I absolutely loved it, instantly felt at home, and was happy. During this trip I visited a lot with a friend who is also an old high school boyfriend, I've always had strong feelings for him and those feelings haven't lessened over the years. He also treats me right, even just as friends. He talks to me and is even a voice of reason when I need him to be. I know when he's upset with me because he talks to me and tells me what's going on. It's nice because I feel like I matter, what I think and say matter, and that I'm allowed to be happy. I got home yesterday and all I got was attitude from my husband, my house is completely trashed, the tv that should be in the living room is in my bedroom, and there's no food. I felt no excitement seeing my husband yesterday, I didn't feel like I was home, and I just wanted to get my son and go back to Colorado. I'm tired and I'm done. How can I bring this all up to my husband and end things positively?