Last Year I Lost My Baby Boy...

In May of 2015 I was 5 and a half months pregnant going for a full body scan when my doctor told me that my son no longer had a heartbeat. 3 days later I was in the hospital having labor induced and it was the most emotionally and physically draining experience of my and my fiancé's lives. Today I am 13 week and 3 days pregnant with our second child and I am TERRIFIED. I'm excited but I find it so hard to see the end point of this. Going into labor and delivering a healthy baby.. I haven't been able to picture it. I feel as though I've been preparing for the worst but that's impossible because there is no preparing for that kind of news. I'm just scared, very scared and I don't know what to do with myself. There was no explanation as to why my baby's heart stopped beating, just that it did. Genetic testing and pathology were inconclusive so I have no idea what I should be worried about. I just needed to share this I find it hard to mention it to those close to me because no one knows what to say 😪😞