I was scared, but now I know I'm blessed
I found out I'm pregnant the DAY I missed my period. The guy I was with had been freaked out about the possibility and had me take a test that day to calm his nerves. Well it wasn't very calming after all. He freaked out and started going into an extremely depressive mode. I went to a women's clinic nearby to get a confirmation and advice. I was so scared, but I knew I couldn't handle the thought of an abortion. I thought about adoption for weeks, but every time I envisioned my child in someone else's arms never to call me mommy, I couldn't stop the tears. I went home and talked with my parents, who I thought would encourage the idea of adoption, but they told me not to make any decisions until later in the pregnancy. As time went on I saw my baby on the ultrasounds and fell even deeper in love with this darling child of mine. Some friends of my sister's gave her a pack and play and a highchair for me and both were a kind of pale green - the same color as the room which we were talking about using as my son's nursery. Part of me wondered if it was coincidence or a sign. I brushed it off. A few weeks later my mom and I were looking for a glider and instead wound up finding a baby swing on a local garage sale site. Guess what color? I laughed saying it's perfect and we bought it. Well now a few days ago my brother's fiancée's sister messaged me saying she had a bunch of baby items from a friend that they were getting rid of and wondered if I wanted to come pick out some stuff. In the pictures of everything, there sat an infant car seat. Same. Exact. Green. (I know there's a lot of crap for using used car seats but this one is relatively new and never been in an accident.) I just feel like I have been so blessed. It's like God is saying "yeah, he was conceived outside of my directions, but I have a plan for this little guy. Don't you worry about how I provide, just trust that I do."
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