I doubt I'll go to the doctors office again
If I were ever to fall pregnant again, I wouldn't acknowledge it. I know that sounds harsh but not as harsh as being pregnant and excited only to lose the baby anyway. If I wasn't attached maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad. I am healthy I take care of myself. I don't smoke I don't drink, so there's nothing a scan or a chat with an OB it midwife can do to make my pregnancy viable. I think this loss has hardened my heart. I've heard women on here say they're not attached to their pregnancy. I finally see what drove them there. I'm not angry that I lost my baby. I'm angry that I allowed myself to think that it was really happening, that is what burns. In the future what will be will be. If I feel movement I'll schedule an appointment then. Otherwise I'm not acknowledging early pregnancy other than prenatal pills and healthy lifestyle. Not even going to test.
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