He keeps playing mind games🙄

I've been seeing a guy for about 2 months now, and things are obviously pretty serious between is(but maybe that's only in my eyes🤔). We've established the fact that we're monagamous, but when I try to put a label on our relationship, he "doesn't know about that".
I understand that he's been through a lot, as he just told me he's afraid of commitment because he doesn't want to become like his deadbeat sperm donor. I can deal with that, I'm afraid of commitment because of my ADD. 
What I'm having a hard time with is the fact that being momogamous without a label is pointless. I want to be caring and understanding, but I also want to call him mine. 
I'm not capable of giving him the ultimatum "be my boyfriend or I'm out." 
I've tried talking to him about all of this, but it seems to go nowhere each time. I've invested a lot of time and energy into this relationship, but I just don't know what to do anymore.