Parents Disapprove of Future Husband

I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 26. We've been dating for 14 months and he is going to propose next week (at least, that's when he's buying the ring).

I'm really upset with my family for the lack of support I've received from them. My boyfriend has high functioning autism so only his family and myself know him for who he really is. He tends to avoid social situations and places that are too loud or bright. Because of this, he's barely made a connection with my family. I get that they want to know him, but they don't seem to understand that it will take him longer than the average person to do so. Meanwhile, I know him very well and we're ready to take the next step by getting engaged and married.

The objections are hurtful to hear. Because I plan to marry him and I want them to respect my decision. But they're worried that I will be the primary breadwinner and that I'll be more of a mother to him than a wife. Essentially they see a sissy, not the strong man I know and love. They're worried that I will end up taking care of him and that I will be enmeshed with him because of my natural tendency towards compassion. But he is so caring and supportive that I really don't think that will happen. He is capable of working and plans to work hard to provide. I know that I will have to work hard too but I can do it.

Their other issue they have with him is our plan to live with his family. We want to live in their basement and pay rent because it's more economical for us as we're starting out. Eventually we will get some land and build our own different houses on the same land. I don't think it is wrong to do this. If we have an issue with being too close, we have said that we will leave. But my parents are religious and believe in a husband and wife leaving their families to be a separate unit.

I'm sick of the fact that I can't talk about him around them. I am in love with him and old enough to be married. I'm not looking for the wedding day, I want the marriage. I want to have sex with the man I love (we're virgins until marriage). I want a future. Am I so wrong? Even my extended family is butting in with questions and they've never met him!