Calling all mommy support..

*Before you state the obvious.. I do know that none of these emotions I am experiencing are healthy for the baby, and yes, it does scare me.*

I don't know where else to turn, my blog can only do so much for me anymore, and it doesn't seem like enough. I felt lazy and useless when I began staying at home in August, so I just recently got a job (i haven't started yet).. Now my fiance quit vaping for our little girl (due in february), and he's been an absolute mess and near impossible to be around.. I feel I also already struggle with depression, and the stress lately has been unreal from financial burden (we never have enough money for food and bills but can't get food stamps and are paying the lowest possible rent right now).. I genuinely want to just cry and scream and throw my hands in the air giving up on everything.. I need help and I don't know where else to turn. I struggle to get out of bed each day and force this stupid smile on my face when all I want to do is hike the covers up over my head and stay in bed until things are where they need to be.