Whyyyyyy no bfp

So tired of seeing this... so depressing 12 dpo af 1 day late ...or not because all my apps say something else one app in 2 days late another I'm 2 days before af and with glow ..glow moved me to next week Monday wheb I put my ovulation day..... I'm in cd 47 I have such long cycles I hate this... just think im out this month and no money to see doctors I honestly am just about to give up been ttc baby #1 since july and I'm 23 why is this so hard