how to tell MIL I'm having a c-section..?

Question

Hi, first off my MIL is very rude in general and comments negatively about everything, she doesn't care about my health she only asks about baby (which I get it's her first grand baby so that's more important) lately she's been a lot nicer to me in general which is great but I'm concerned when I tell her I'm having a cesarean she's going to freak out and blame me. I'm having a C-section due to seizures, heart palpitations, and because my mother tore terribly and hurt her hips and spine while having me because I was too big. I'm anemic as well.
MIL keeps saying things like they don't plan on doing a c section or anything stupid right. Then one time I said well they mentioned I might need one for my size and stuff since my family has big babies but I won't know until later on (truth and wanting to see how she'd react) she completely flipped out and started asking why and what was wrong with me and what I was doing and that she doesn't like my Dr (she's never met them) asking if I'm taking my prenatal basically anything you can think of. Her sister said "sometimes the baby is just big and you can't control it, it's not a big deal" then MIL rolled her eyes..
Well my parents live in a different state and I told them about when it's planned (nov 25 not due until dec 1) so they could fly in. I want to tell her that I'm having one but She's going to demand a reason and if I tell her my neurologist and cardiologist thinks it's safer as well as my OB Dr she's going to flip out that I have seizures / minor heart issues and say I'm doing something to cause them and want to be in the room to make sure the Dr isn't "f-ing up" her grandbaby (which I can only have one person which will be my SO).. I also don't want to tell her the exact time because I don't want her influencing my SO's decisions if something bad does happen and also because she doesn't understand why I want skin to skin time and I'm only allowed three people for the first two hours (SO, my mom and dad) I thought about telling her it was scheduled later in the day (around when I'd be moved to my big room where I can have more guests) but I still don't know how to tell her WHY I'm having C-Section...
Sorry it was so long, thanks..

I feel like I have to tell her because she will want to know why my parents are coming in for thanksgiving since it's a week earlier and because SO thinks it's not fair that they don't know (he agrees she shouldn't be at the hospital during the procedure though since she stresses me out) plus it just generally makes me feel bad because she's been nicer even though my best friend says it's suspicious how nice she's been and thinks they're anterior motives behind it.

Answer

To be honest... I wouldn't tell her at all! It's not her business. There is no reason you can't just say nothing and have your hubby call her after it's all over and say the baby is born. I am not telling my own parents we have decided on a home birth because my mom is super judgmental and I don't care to hear here opinion (which would be I should just schedule a C section). I plan on calling them the next day and telling the baby is here! It's your choice, your kid and you don't owe her a play by play. Just saying. And good luck xx

Answer

Have your husband deal with her. You need to do what's safest for you and baby. She can get in board or be left out.

Answer

I say it's your baby your business. If its safer for you to have a csection why in the world would you listen to her or worry about her feelings the safety of you and your child is first.. if u think all she cares about is the baby tell her your. Baby is breeched lol.

Answer

I wouldn't even tell her I'm going to the hospital. I'm also very rude and only allowed my husband and mom at the hospital while I was there and had them mark me as unlisted so nobody could call and find out. This is your birth, your baby. There is no need for anybody to be rude to you and add stress to you. You'll do what's best for you and your baby and that's what matters. Don't let another's negativity interfere with a joyful day.

Answer

Well don't tell her. She's not obligated to know and if she's not having the baby she needs to sit her ass down somewhere and chill.

Answer

Sorry but your MIL sounds very selfish. Best of luck.

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Why do you feel like you owe her an explanation?

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You don't need to tell her. Hubby can text her or call her during or shortly after to say the baby is coming/here. She doesn't really need to know the details in advance.
What if you needed an emergency CS, would she still blame you??

Answer

I wouldn't tell her. I would just wait until after the baby arrives and then tell her that the baby is born.  That seems like way too much stress with you to deal with.

Answer

She should be concerned about yours and the baby's health. Your doctors aren't gonna have you do a c section unless they feel the need to and with the minor problems you've listed it's smart to do so. For your mother to down you is wrong assuming you're doing something isn't right. No disrespect. but you have to be honest with her, if she says anything bad about it just ignore her. Sounds kind of childish but you really don't need stress especially not during pregnancy. She'll either come around or she won't. It's ashame. She should be concerned about not only grandbaby but her daughter too.

how to tell MIL I'm having a c-section..?

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