We don't want your f*cking pity
This is to anyone who knows and loves someone with chronic pain. We don't want your pity or your sympathy. We would just like a little compassion and understanding. Understand that that meal we just cooked for you took every ounce of energy and strength we had left. Understand that we're dreading that pile of laundry that we KNOW we need to do but keep putting it off. Understand that we have so many big dreams and even tiny little tasks we'd like to do but simply just can't. It hurts us more than you think. Understand that the last thing we like is having to lay in bed or on the couch all day. But some days it's necessary. You think we enjoy it but I'd much rather do anything else in the world than that. I'd rather clean my entire house top to bottom because it's been months since I have. I'd rather go grocery shopping at Walmart on a Friday afternoon than lay around. And let's face it, no one enjoys Walmart on a Friday afternoon. I'd rather go spend time at my family's and not have to be thinking of how bad I'm hurting and how ready I am to be back in my bed. I'd rather take a nice long shower because well honestly I haven't had one in a week because even the thought of standing there that long and the water hitting my skin already hurts me. I'd rather go to dinner with my best friend I haven't seen in months. I'd love nothing more than to have the house clean and dinner on the table every evening for my husband. I feel like the worst wife in the world because I can't complete (what I think are) simple normal wifely duties. Sometimes we just want a hug and to feel like we're not a burden because we're a burden to our own selves already. Even on the days that you got up and did everything around the house and we just had to lay there, a simple "is there anything you need?" Would absolutely make our day. Trust me, we are our own worst enemy and our hardest critic. We don't need anyone else making us feel worse than we already do about ourselves. We don't need to be made to feel like we're lying or over exaggerating about the pain or our other symptoms. We get enough of that from our doctors. Very few understand, very few care. Be the one person in our lives that listen, at least try to understand, and help. Try to build up our self esteem, because we break it down ourselves every day. We'll have a few good days. We'll have some days that are easier to push through the pain. Those are few and far between but even on those days a "hey you've done a lot, why don't you take a break?" Would feel amazing because we're gonna keep going til we do more damage than good. Anyone who deals with chronic pain is strong as hell but we break often and we're not gonna ask for help and we're not gonna tell you just how bad it really is. So show some compassion. Please.
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