How does love start?

So literally I'm not happy in my relationship. I'm thinking of leaving soon. I'm not the type of girl to date guy after guy. But when the time comes, how does this even work? How do I get a relationship I want? The guys I've dated pursue me and I tend to shy away in the beginning and then give in but they then become assholes. I want a real man who will appriciate me. Do you teach men how you want to be treated or does a real man know how to treat you? I'm 20 btw I've had one relationship before the one I'm currently in. I've noticed I'm more mature then my boyfriends. So how does this work?