A Thanksgiving Blessing

It's 10:00 on Thanksgiving morning here in Alaska. I debated testing today; my never-regular period is only one day late and I'm well aware that many of my symptoms could just be wishful thinking.

Still, I know my body has been different lately. I know I saw the faintest of faint lines on Sunday, even if my husband wasn't convinced. So I'm up, alone, with a cup of urine in my hand and a prayer on my lips.

I will be 36 on Tuesday. I have wanted a child - several, actually, but one will do - for as long as I can remember, but it wasn't until last year that we felt ready to start trying. More accurately, stop not trying; while I've been off of birth control for a year it's only been for the last four months that I've been diligently tracking my fertility. I had it in my head that it would never happen, that something would be wrong with either me or him and we wouldn't be able to conceive. I spent most of my energy on making myself come to terms with that.

Now here we are. I still don't know if I'm ready; does one ever feel completely ready? I know it's very early and hundreds of things could go wrong. For today, though, I am extremely thankful for this blessing and the chance to go on another adventure in this crazy thing called life.

Peace and hope and blessings and a very happy Thanksgiving to all of you.