This week started out amazing, we spent vacation somewhere for my 29th birthday and ttc was the last thing on my mind for a few days. No worries, no testing just fun with my husband!! I have been so stressed with work and life, so the break was needed. But on the night of my birthday (last night), I started to spot, and this morning I had a full blown AF. I was devastated :( I tried to get it out of my head, but we flew down to see my husbands family for Thanksgiving today (part 2 of vacation) and thats when I lost it. No one knows that we are trying. So everyone kept asking and asking when we were going to make them grandparents and great grandparents. They kept saying "Dont you want a baby before you are 30? You only have a year left!!" Or "Hurry and have babies before its too late. All of the cousins your age are doing it now, they need to be around the same age".

I just went to the bathroom and balled my eyes out. I want a baby so badly. And I feel like I am failing my husband and our families. Its been 5 months of great timing, opk's, prenatals, diva cups and preseed. We have had all of the LH, FSH, ultrasounds, glucose, prolactin, thyroid, blood panels tests done and everything is "normal". Some doctor diagnosed me with PCOS 2 years ago, but I have zero symptoms. My cycles were off for that year, but they had never been before. I was on birth control for a year. Got off and my cycles were normal again. I tracked them for 3 months and then we started trying. Im so worried that we just wont be able to do it. Doctor's were worried 2 years ago thatI just wasnt ovulating, but that clearly isnt the case. I am ovulating, every single month. So idk what else it could be, and thats kinda scary.

I know that 5 months isnt long, but it feels like a long time to me. Its worrying me so badly, and I just feel like im failing. My heart hurts and its ruining my holidays. I just want to be pregnant :(

Im just venting because idk what else to do, and I know that some of you ladies would understand. Just say a prayer or send a special thought to me if you can. Im just struggling so badly right now :(