Please bare with me because this might get long but I don't have many people to talk to that don't have a biased opinion and I am extremely conflicted on what route is best to go for everyone.

My mother was great growing up. She was a single mom who raised us on her own. She did everything she could for us and I will always appreciate that. Through the years as I started getting older I'm not sure if I started noticing my mother's actions more or if she just started changing. 

My mom kicked me out for the first time when I was 16 for no other reason than "talking back" that didn't include using swear words or calling her names, because I would've gotten my a** kicked. My mom has kicked me out for the same reasons, after telling me to move in again several times after. Unfortunately every time she has kicked me out has been her going through a break up, and every time she's gone through a break up has supposed to be a time in my life where a mom is most important. 

She's kicked me out when I was in high school, a week before finals for graduating on honors after graduating high school, a month after one of my cousins passed away, and month before my son was born when I was supposed to be on bed rest with nowhere to go. 

I am not a drug user, a drinker, or someone who makes bad choices. I wouldn't consider myself hard to live with and I usually get along with the people I live with. 

Anyways, since having my son I've tried to continue having a relationship with my mom so she could be a part of his life and vice versa. I even thought at one point her becoming a grandma would restore our relationship but it has done the opposite. Becoming a mom myself made me think of my moms actions in a different light and become disappointed in her for treating her kids the way she does. As a grandma, she likes to spend money on my son and see him maybe once a week for a few hours but we can't trust her to watch him and she usually sets (what I would think as less important) things her priority. One of the very few (and last) times she watched my son she snuck her on and off again boyfriend into our apartment and got drunk with him while we were out to eat. They are abusive to each other and she is aware I do not want any of her boyfriend's around my son especially under the influence. She did it behind my back and the worse part is that she planned it all before letting us leave. When my boyfriend told her to leave upon finding out what she'd done, she tried to attack him while he was holding our son and I had to block her from getting him. 

That's just one example of how she's torn down boundaries I've tried to set. She's also told my son that I'm a b*tch, tried to get other family members mad at me for setting certain boundaries, and has called me many names in the process to try and hurt me. Without one sorry. 

This is starting to disrupt the relationship I have with my SO and other family members. I do NOT want it to hurt the relationship I have with my son. She refuses to go to counseling with or without me. I am so conflicted on what to do. I love my mom, because of who she used to be when I was a child, and because she's my mom.... but I also love my son and want to protect him from all of this negativity and drama! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! TIA!