Stretch Marks..

As I was "inspecting" my very big beautiful 30 week bump... My heart sank a little...

I got stretch marks from my previous pregnancy, but 6 years later I had quite the bangin body & all those marks have nearly disappeared....

With this pregnancy these marks are BRIGHT red & the large marks have stretched out to a bunch of tiny ones... They hurt... & now that I have noticed them, I really just want to cry.

I know I'm supposed to feel beautiful & powerful for bringing life into the world & I know there are MANY women on here & elsewhere that would GIVE ANYTHING to be able to have stretch marks to complain about.

I have always been self conscious of my weight, my looks, my skin... I'm not perfect, I'm not a model, no I don't care what others think of me, I care what I think of me.

I pointed the marks out to my husband (who rubs & kisses my tummy every day), I said "did you notice these new bright red stretch marks😩" he said "yes, I did. They are going to be pretty". I know he's trying to make me feel better, & it's so cute that he tries, but I don't feel better. I'm worried about my weight after baby, my skin, my sanity...

I'm losing it I guess. This is not my first baby, this is actually my last, yet all I do is complain. :( I feel kinda silly, actually....

Please tell me I'm not crazy??!!