low self-esteem

I've always had low self-esteem becuase the lips of my vagina are big. I've been married to my husband for 2 yrs now and he is the only man I've been with. He says he does not have a problem with it but every time we have sex the lights have to be off and I hate when he stares at it. I hide from him if we take a shower together. We also dont have sex that often we can go a whole month without sex and I always feel like it is because of this. I dont know what to do, I want to feel comfortable in my own skin.