Overthinking & TTC
Hi ladies! Someone just posted about overthinking things while TTC (specifically about inadvertently doing something to prevent yourself from becoming pregnant) and I typed out this big response and the post was removed. But I figure some other folks are probably having the same issue, so thought I'd post it here. Hope it helps, and if anyone wants more information about resources, message me and I'm happy to point you in the right direction!
Regarding obsessing... I actually have OCD - a couple years ago, it was so severe that I took FMLA from work and entered an intensive treatment program. I learned lots of tricks in treatment that work for general overthinking even if you don't have the disorder. So imma drop some knowledge that may help!
Okay first! No matter how much you try, you can't stop a thought or worry from popping in your head. While those thoughts are THE WORST, they aren't the problem - it's the compulsion you perform to make yourself feel better. So that could be googling, asking your wife for reassurance that everything is okay, doing something to "offset" the damage, etc. So, instead of doing those things, when you get the thought, talk back to it!
There's LOTS of different ways to do this, but here are my two favorites. The first is to be real sarcastic in your response. "Oh, brain, you are SO RIGHT. I definitely ingested a chemical that's going to mess up my fertility. THANKS FOR THE REMINDER, BRAIN."
The second way is definitely harder, but if the sarcasm doesn't work, you take it the other direction. You actually work on the assumption that your thought IS correct. Yes, I did ingest the chemical and yes, it will cause me to become infertile. And then take it further. What happens next when you find out you can't have a baby? What's the worst case scenario? Keep pushing it further and further until you get to the absolute WORST thing you can think of and finish it off with "Because I ingested a chemical, xyz happened and my life was ruined." Dramatic, right?! But it works! It's HARD, but over time, you habituate to the anxiety these thoughts cause you.
I know that's a lot of info, and if you're interested, I can definitely point you to some great resources that dive much, much deeper. These strategies (along with a whole lot of medication!) help me tremendously. Hope you get some relief, and baby dust to you!
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