So ashamed of myself !

Ugh ! I know I should be going to my doctor about this but I am 6 weeks pp and had unprotected sex twice with my boyfriend in the last week. I know so stupid but he hates condoms so it's hard to get him to see eye to eye with me when I ask him to use them... The exact reason we have a baby now... I was supposed to have my appointment to see about birth control yesterday but I missed it. Anyways now I'm having light cramping and bleeding Im hoping it could be my period trying to come back but I also have read about implantation bleeding and now I'm freaking out ! I do not want another baby at the moment I would love for my son to have a few years to himself before we add another child into the picture... I just feel so ashamed even if it was another baby id be okay having another but I feel like my family & his are going to be so disappointed in me