Is this concerning??

Question

My SO and I watched a scene on TV in which the wife freaks out at her husband for tossing his belt on the bed, he replies with "Okay hunny, you're either pissed at something or I want a divorce." Immediately my SO turns to me and says "If you ever freaked out at me for putting my belt on the bed, I'd slap the sh*t out of you" followed with an off sounding laugh. 
He is a very hands on kind of person, especially when it comes to sex (which I consent to) but more times then I can count he would not stop roughly tickling or picking me up when I clearly was saying no. One incident he squeezed my wrists very aggressively, held them above my head and yelled in my face for a few minutes.

My question is if you ladies think this is the beginning of any sort of abuse, or should I keep brushing it off.
Thanks take care🙏💜

Answer

Yes, it is a very common sign of the start of abuse. Rarely does it come all at once head on. It comes gradually to see how much they can get away with and consistency with how it's coming so it looks normal. You should talk to him before it gets out of hand. He may laugh or shrug it off. There are lots of support groups out there. I would look into one just to ask questions. It may not be bad yet but it can get there before you know it.

Answer

If it's enough to stand out to you, I would definitely be cautious and look for more. There are signs and you have to always trust your gut. Don't doubt yourself. 
**It's better to be pleasantly surprised than unprepared and surprised.****

Abuse can manifest itself all of a sudden if there's a trigger or develope over time. Be careful and watch for other warning/peculiar behaviors like:

-Emotional manipulation - turning your no into a yes. Making you feel badly for being against something or using how you feel against you.

-Random or explosive outbursts - like it just came out of nowhere

-Isolation - if he ever isolates you from your family or makes you choose between you and your family

And there are more! I would look them up and research them. Always trust your gut. If it's enough to make you a little uneasy; be careful. You can never be too careful.

Answer

I think it depends on what's normal and okay with you. Me and my partner have quite a dry sense of humour and have often joked about punching each other, or kicking each other (sounds awful saying it, but honestly we're only joking!). He's never laid a hand on me. It's hard when I don't know your relationship or how you two are with each other.

Answer

I personally wouldn't like to be talked to in that way. What he said to you was really disrespectful, joking or not. That would probably be the first sign to me. Good luck with this girl, & remember your worth ❤️

Answer

It's the beginning and he essentially just warned you.

Answer

Abuse plain and simple. Don't stand for it. Been there and got the t shirt

Answer

He should never threaten you

Answer

If he's already been physically agressive and yells at you he's already being abusive. You've seen the red flags. Stop ignoring them.

Answer

Huge red flag!! He held you in place while yelling at you, and not stopping a behavior that you made it clear was uncomfortable for you are abusive behaviors. Saying he'd slap the shit out of you for getting angry about something no matter how ridiculous the reason is also very concerning.

Answer

The comment he made wasn't concerning. What bothered me was him holding your wrists and yelling in your face. I have jokingly said I would beat my husband or "kill him" (while laughing because clearly I'm being ridiculous) and neither of us are violent to each other at all! We would never put our hands on the other out of anger. So his comment, along with how he's acted already, is alarming.

Is this concerning??

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