Sex & Relationships
From relationship goals to sex advice: if it's about sex or relationships, share it here.
can someone, anyone, please help me with advice (no judgements)
This is long, but I really need advice from as many outsiders as possible. So throwing it all out there in the shortest version possible. So last March, I met this guy at a funeral. We hit it off instantly. Couldn't take our eyes of one another. He hunted me down on Facebook the following day and we arranged to meet. Keep in mind, I was aware he had two sons, but not that he was still also with there mother, and living with her. That was kept secret. So a few weeks past. My parents then found out, turned out they know him, and his family. And told me he was still with her. When I confronted him he said he's never been in love with her. She got pregnant instantly. And he stayed for his children. But the whole 6 years of there relationship he cheated. One night stands. I was his first long term affair. <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>. His friends told me this. He seemed more into me than just sex. Instead of running when I found out about his women. I stayed because I believed all his lies and bullshit and I'd already developed feelings. But 6 months into our relationship, I fell pregnant, and took off. I didn't tell him in fear of ruining his family. And destroying his life. But as time went on, and it was closer to my daughters birth. It was time to tell him. So I did. He didn't at all take it bad. Infact, he so twistedly seemed happy about it. And said he would stick around. And break it off with his girl. But this girl is so so so in love with him, knows he cheats all the time, and even tho he had a baby to someone else, she still wanted him. He lied to me, said they where over, and me and him where back to seeing each other. This went on for about 6 weeks after my daughter was born then it ended. We had a fight, I got nasty in so much things I had to say, and we stopped speaking for 2/3 months or more. During that time apart I still believed he was single. I started to date. When we did eventually get speaking again (and things happened between us) he told me he was the single one now and the shoes on the other foot because I was briefly dating a guy. Over a course of weeks, both our feelings for each other got stronger. He told me he loves me and really wants us to be together. That he really can't loose me, he almost did once and can't do it again. And can we please be official. But I think that was all to stop me moving on. Because then his girl approached me at my sons school (there son attends the same one) and asked me was anything happening between me and him because she feels there is and they are still together. She was able to tell me that for a few months things where great between them (this was when he wasn't seeing me) and that lately it had got bad again. I admitted yes he's been sleeping with me, and I got so angry at him and told her all the things he told me. So, then they did break up, and she started texting me a lot. To find out what was going on with us. Digging. This was annoying him because now he couldn't play the two of us anymore. So we sat down and takes as he told me he's been over her for years. It really has only been about his kids and now that there over, he dosent need time, he knows what he wants and that's me. But, because he had lied, and was seeing us both, that has done nothing now but create constant insecurities and paranoia on my end. So from this all happened I find him very very hard to trust. He still calls to hers a lot to see his sons. They are apparently just 'friends' how can she be his friend after what he's done and how she feels about him, so that's lies. I really have grew to love this man, and want him so much. But is it worth it. To always be wondering, and looking over my shoulder. He did always fight so hard for it everytime we had a fall out over it, but it's like now he cares less and less and I get it, we do fight now all the time over it. I'm loosing the will for it too. I'm ending it every week. It every other day. But he won't get the message and keeps coming back. And I keep being roped back in. He even said he wants us to have another baby. Like seriously. What do I do or how can I trust him. He said I really can because he wouldn't go back there to her. He never wanted her. But, he was still sleeping with her and all while with me so what do I really believe anymore. No matter how much it hurts do u walk away. Or how can I fix this where I can learn to even try and build trust. EDITED: Also, him and her had a big talk about a week or so ago, which he still hasn't told me what it was about BUT, since it, I don't see him as often, he managed to get her to block and delete me. And hasn't been taking his daughter much! But still says he wants me 😕