Please don't try castor oil

So here is my horror story. Please don't judge or bash me. I understand what I did was dangerous and unwise. It was something I did out of fear. Not because I'm uncomfortable or anything. If you have something nasty to say, please keep scrolling as I have already been wracked with guilt and cried quite a bit. The purpose of this is to warn other women who are considering this method, and that is all. I've learned my lesson and realize how lucky I am.

I'm 38 weeks and scheduled to be induced in a few days because my baby is measuring at almost 42 weeks and they're concerned. I don't like the thought of pictocin so I have been trying all of the old wives tales to get labor going. Lots of sex, spicy food, walking, birthing ball, clary sage oil, evening primrose, dancing, jumping jacks, you name it I've done it. The only thing I hadn't tried was castor oil. And I wasn't going to.

I had my Dr appointment yesterday and the induction came into play. I was terrified. So I went to my mom. She assured me that castor oil was perfectly safe and said she wouldn't suggest something that would harm myself or my baby. So I bought it. I was still hesitant but she kept texting me with excitement telling me to come over and she'd mix it for me. I still had that gut feeling I shouldn't but I didn't listen. I went over at 230 pm and she mixed 1 tbsp with OJ. She kept rubbing my belly and saying today was the day. She's very excited to meet her grand baby. I drank it. Nothing happened. Hours go by. She tells me to take more. I said no. She kept asking me to and saying she would leave me alone if I did. I still refused. I said, if it works it works. If not I'm not going to distress my body. Well 7 pm hits and things change. My husband and I sat down to eat dinner at a restaurant and were going to grocery shop after. I got my first painful contraction. I took a few bites of dinner but then realized my Braxton hicks were 6 min apart. So we asked for the check and packed up our food. I told him to skip the grocery store as I needed to get in the bath. I get in a warm bath with clary sage oil and I was not in pain. I began to feel crampy so I assumed it was going to be the bowel movements I'd heard about with castor oil. I sat on the toilet for a good 45 minutes. With intense cramps but the only thing passing was gas. I felt like I needed to have a bowel movement and had been experiencing pressure for days. I began to realize that it was not bowel cramps because my stomach was rock hard. I summoned the strength to get dressed and go out to the living room and get on my birthing ball. The pain was less than 4 min apart at this time. I had my husband call the dr. So off to the hospital we went. Every bump hurt. The contractions were so close together I had no break.

We arrive to the hospital and it was just a nightmare. They had me pre registered but all my info was lost. So I'm trying to do all that while in agony. I requested a room with a tub several times and the room I got had a shower. They hook me up to the monitor and I'm contracting every minute at this point. The baby was doing great though. They check me and I'm not dilating and only 50% effaced. They told me they would see if I made any progress. Later on my nurse asked me if I took any kind of mineral oil. I told her I had. Everything changed at that moment. They no longer took me seriously with the pain and basically said I did this to myself. Hours are going by and I'm still in agony. Then the back contractions began. I thought I was gonna die. It felt exactly like a kidney stone coming down. They check me a second time and there is no change. They tell me they are going to send me home. As there is no progress so no reason for me to be there. Baby was doing just great, and I just had to suffer it out. We were discharged around 230 am. I was in agony at home up until a few hours ago. I'm still uncomfortable but nothing like that.

I should add that prior to this, I had been contracting all week and the dr told me at my appointment I was "free to go into labor at any time" so I took that as the ok to get things going on my own. It was stupid and it was selfish. I thought I was doing the right thing by my baby to avoid induction/csection but I was wrong. I failed my first task as mom and was not patient. So please. If you are considering this, please don't do it. Baby will come on their own. And if they don't, let the dr handle it. They know what they are doing. Don't give in to peer pressure. Sometimes people mean well, but they aren't giving you good information. I appreciate you taking the time to read all of this. I know it's long. But if I changed even one person's mind, it was worth it.