Masturbation mishaps

So I guess I can't twiddle my fiddle because I just can't seem to turn myself on or just get into it mentally. I've done it once while my man was over seas and I had him on the phone. Don't know how but somehow the mood struck so hard I just had to play but I couldn't finish the tune no matter how I played the strings, ya know? Since then it's just been the same old struggle of getting nowhere without even getting started. Am I just not attracted to myself or something?