sexually molested

So when I was 11 my brother sexually molested me, I'm 17 now and about a year ago I told my parents because I couldn't handle myself anymore I am disgusted with myself. I was referred to a therapist but I stopped going because all we do is talk about It and talking about it hurts. I can't speak the words out loud because I panic. It feels too real to me and I just want to deny it happened because if I keep denying it I feel like I'll eventually convince myself it never happened but it's not working and I can't sleep and sometimes I can still feel his hands on me and my skin starts to burn and I'm so angry. I'm so angry with myself and with my brother and with my parents for not being there when it happened and at my twin who knew and didn't speak for me. I'm angry and depressed and emotionally unstable right now and I don't know what to do. It hurts. Please someone help me just tell me soothing words or give me advice I'm sorry for begging or if my post is annoying but I don't know where to turn. I can feel myself breaking. And I want someone to understand and no one understands unless they went through it so please help