Have you ever swore you were pregnant because of being 20 days late on your period or you have basically all the pregnancy symptoms but then you get dizzy one day and pass out and you go to the hospital and they tell you you're diabetic? Because that happened to me last night and I'm extremely depressed. Not only did I find out that I don't get my Christmas miracle, but I found out that I'm a tub of lard who can't produce insulin anymore because I decided to be a fat ass. I'm so depressed right now. I hate my life. This is just adding to my many medical problems. Everyone's like "ohh it's okay! You just need to start losing weight! It'll eventually go away" yeah I would if it was that easy. I have no motivation. I feel like shit about myself now. I have no wants of losing weight. I have wants of dying in a hole and never waking up. I wish I wasn't so fucking fat! I'm posting this on here because I obviously can't say anything to my personal humans. They'll call me crazy.