How do I stay strong?
We have been married for 6months. In that time he has attempted suicide 4 times. The first time was a week before our wedding which was a red flag but I went ahead with the marriage. He fights treatment and even tries to get me admitted to deter the attention from him. He comes back saying everyone thinks he is normal but I sound like I have this diagnosis or that diagnosis. Saturday night I called the police to intervene when he threatened to shoot himself with one of his dads guns. Our argument started with me saying we needed to go to his family Christmas dinner and he didn't want to. It escalated and he got irrational. I blocked him away from them and he tried to take the car and leave but I took the keys. He has specifically told therapists and family he is not actually suicidal and he never had these problems of suicide, violence or lying until I entered his life. (Which is false hearing the stories of him and his ex fiancé) I thought he was searching for pills and I started calling the police. (He slit his throat in our front yard last time so I wasn't taking any chances) as I was on the phone with the police he got angrier and threw a bottle at me and missed but made a hole in the wall. I also have new bruises that appeared yesterday morning. The dispatcher asked me what the noise was and things got worse from there. What originally was a suicide prevention call became a domestic violence call. Before any of this I tried calming him down by listing off everything I love about him and trying to get him to do the same but he just listed off things he hates about me after each good memory. (All his good memories he listed were sex stories of us) he tried taking the spare key and driving off but I jumped in the car put it in park while he was driving and took the key. He ran back inside and locked himself in. He came to the window and poured a bottle of pills in his mouth and walked away. I went through a different door and took all the guns I could and locked them in a different room he couldn't get to. He had locked himself in our room at this point. I went outside and waited for police. When they got there he came outside holding his hands out saying I hope you are happy this is going to ruin my life. The police took pictures of the hole in the wall and I filled out a witness statement. I stayed with our friends for the night. He called them and asked them to bail him out. He ended up getting his dad to get a bail bondsman to bail him out. He is not allowed back at the house or near me until after court on january 6. This is just one of the outbursts he has had. I by no means am saying I am a perfect wife I know I can push his buttons and antagonize him and I know I have my things to work on. However I do not believe under any circumstances that this is a normal or acceptable reaction. I don't know if I did the right thing but I feel things would have been worse if I hadn't. I don't want anything bad to happen to him but I couldn't handle the situation alone.
Right now he has made ultimatums to me and the people I am staying with via phone call and emails. He took all the money from our account the second he got out of jail also. I took my name off my account this morning. He is not allowed to have any contact with me whatsoever until his court date Jan 6. I went today and got copies of the police report. I talked to a victim advocate who is setting me up with a detective to build a file on him for that court date. She also set me up with a family lawyer for the annulment process. I also contacted his ex fiancé and asked for her story of what happened with him. It is very similar to mine with the suicide threats violence manipulation and blaming. She offered me a place to stay if I needed and a job if needed and is very nice and not crazy as haden and his family claim. she is also going to gather the police report and restraining order and witness statements she her mom and friends filed against him for me. I also found out his old work filed trespassing and unorderly conduct against him and they are going to send me those files as well. I don't want a dirty fight but if you had met him or his dad they are not going to let me out of this marriage without taking everything they can from me as they have explained to me the process of how they took everything away from his "crazy" ex fiancé. I feel like the only way out of this without being completely screwed over is to fight the way they are.
He also has been emailing my friends husband asking me how they could allow someone like me to stay with them when I am screwing him over...
One mistake I did make was throwing the ring out the window on the freeway when I found out that a few days ago he asked my friends husband to help him get rid of me and find someone in the singles ward for him... I reacted poorly but was hurt and threw it out the window when I found out which was rash but I can't undo it
He also has been talking to my dad who keeps telling me I need to stop and this is my doing and I shouldn't be trying to fight this. He wants to stick me with all the debt and take my car and anything else valuable I have as well as get me committed for mental treatment. I do have an active protective order against him.
I sent him a very polite email ( I made sure I wouldn't get in trouble for contacting him first) asking for no war and to both sign papers and go our separate ways peacefully and civilly. I was naive and put myself in this position but I just want to stay out of this in as few pieces as possible emotionally. I also may or may not be pregnant as we had been TTC which I know was another dumb thing to be doing....