What should I do!

Question

Long story short, we had been ttc for 4 months and we just found out we're pregnant. We had had this talk many times before whether we were ready to have a baby or not. Now that I'm actually pregnant I'm so excited because I've just been wishing for my own baby! When I told him I was pregnant he says he's not ready now and wants me to abort it. I told him that I would never do that. Now he's so depressed and has been crying his eyes out begging me not to have it. I don't know what to do. I've been stressing and overthinking it. What should I do?

Thank you ladies in advance for the support!

I posted anon first because I didn't know what comments to expect but I see how much support goes on around here!

Answer

Let him know that no one can ever be completely prepared and you are in it together. He has your support! Maybe have him talk to his friends or family about it to get out his anxieties and insecurities. My husband did not have a positive dad role model in his life and initially our pregnancy made him go through a hard time, now he is always talking to my belly and completely supportive, but he needed a few weeks. You two have got this!! Congrats!

Answer

He may just need time to come around. I planned my pregnancy and I couldn't wait for it, as soon as it happened I was like "omg what have I done? I'm not ready for this" I felt so guilty for the way I felt but it's a huge life change! And there's no turning back. After several weeks went by and especially after we had our first doctors appointment with an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy I started getting excited, I'm 33 weeks now and can't wait. If you two planned this I would keep the baby. I'm pro choice but you two together CHOSE this, you actively worked to get pregnant, if he were having second thoughts he should've told you.

Answer

Give him time. You don't try for four months without thinking it through. He's probably just panicking. Invite him to the ultrasound....let him see his baby & hear the heartbeat. He'll calm down once the shock wears off. Good luck mama

Answer

Sometimes we can get shocked by the reality of what's happening even if we wanted them. I didn't expect to get pregnant so fast with #1, I did feel kind of resentful at the beginning about how my life is going to change. I fell in love with him when I saw him sucking his thumb on an ultrasound but before that I wasn't very happy. People react differently.
My advice would be to give him some space. Don't try to fight him or guilt him for his feeling. Most likely he will come around once he gets over his shock but let him come to those terms by himself. Make a deal with him. Tell me let's give it a week and then we can make a decision. And during that week don't bring it up unless he does. During that time, I hope you have people who can be supportive of you and present to talk with. Focus on yourself and your health. Take your prenatals and make an appointment for your first visit. I hope by the time your appointment comes that he'd be willing to go with you and that would make it more real for him.

Good luck and hang in there!!

Answer

Oh my good lord!! He's agrees to go through that with you then asks you to abort when you do get pregnant!!!??? Excuse my language but I would abort that asshole!! How dare he ask that. I would not get rid of my baby! I mean if you are not financially ready or mentally ready it's something to consider but even then you could give the baby up for adoption after birth. I got pregnant at 16 and again at 18 and couldn't bring myself to abort either baby and I'm very happy I didn't. Stay strong mama! Hope everything works out for you

Answer

Keep that baby!!

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Tell him it's time to step up and be a man. You can't have fun by having unprotected sex and not expect pregnancy at some point.

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Do not abort that baby! My husband did the same thing. Well he didn't tell me to have an abortion because he's against abortions too but he just kept saying he wasn't ready and maybe adoption would be best. Our daughter is a 5 weeks old and his whole world.

Answer

When I told my boyfriend I was pregnant all he had to say was "oh." 😓😂 but once we went to that first ultrasound and saw that little jelly bean twitching her arms and legs he got so excited. I think it's normal for guys to be nervous. maybe he's just too overwhelmed and needs some encouragement. I don't think he should be saying those things to you but I don't know him so I can say. wish you the best of luck and congrats

Answer

Well, keep the baby don't even consider aborting it if that's not what YOU want. It may take time for him to come around.. let him feel what he has to feel and don't ridicule him for not being happy yet, because that could backfire. Of course it sounds "not femanist" for me to say that but I'd be saying the same thing if you weren't ready and he was.. it's a big step!

What should I do!

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