She didn't make it..

I scream to my husband who freaks out and gets our 10 months old daughter ready in under 5 minutes. 

By 10am we are on the road, the hospital is 40 minutes away. At 10:10am I scream at him and say "I cant do it. I need to push." Still no pain, my body is just forcing itself to push. So I do. I push twice and something comes out. I had no idea what it was, it was small, my water had never broken. I try to tell my husband something came out but hes freaking out driving 100mph. I pull her out of my pants and as soon as i seen her face my heart dropped and i started crying. My husband looked over and i swear i thought we were going to wreck. He pulled over on the side of the highway and called 911 screaming and crying saying "shes not breathing" over and over. He was screaming at her to get an ambulance (poor girl, she didnt do anything wrong) then my beautiful baby girl takes her first breath. She moves. We try to give her cpr but shes only taking a few breaths here and there, shes alive though. The state trooper gets there and he's now giving her cpr, he tells me it's okay. She's breathing. But inside I know it's too late. The ambulance finally got there at 10:50. They made me walk to the ambulance, blood pouring out of me, about to faint. They did not help me onto the stretcher. I'm covered in blood and not to mention it was 30 degrees out. Im trying so hard to keep my daughter warm. We are finally on our way to the hospital which is still 30 minutes away. Never once did they do anything. The didn't talk, ask my name, take vitals. They didn't even look at my baby, they didn't check to see if she was alive. The male emt called the hospital (which by the way is the best hospital in the state for premature babies) he told the standby team not to bother waiting because she wasn't alive. I wanted to scream. But i couldnt, i just stared at her as she took a few more breaths. I was in shock. She finally took her last breath in my arms. We got to the hospital and they had no idea where to take me, they took me to the wrong floor 3 times. By this point, i was in and out of consciousness, blood was soaking the blankets and actually going onto the floor. We finally got to my room and they got me onto my bed and took the baby whom was now no longer breathing. I got to hold her for about 6 hours before the funeral home took her away. The hospital discharged me right after, even though my blood pressure was at an alarming low level. I feel violated and used by them because I did not get the medical attention I needed. My ob told us at our checkup that had they done their job, she would have survived. However, despite that, they are refusing to give her a birth certificate saying "She was never alive." YES SHE WAS. We have been fighting with them and last time we talked to them the lady actually yelled at me and said "You cant change your story and say she was alive when clearly she wasnt. We are not giving a stillborn a birth certificate." I did not change my story.. my daughter was born alive and she died in my arms. It's not my fault no one checked her. She could have survived. But this is just my story.. my rant about it. The hospital is more worried about a lawsuit than giving her what she deserves. She was alive and I will celebrate her life. We tried to set up a meeting with the emts as they can change their story to she was breathing however, they refuse to call us back after 10+ voicemails and constant calling. Now, when we call their assistant has began saying "they are not here, sorry" after we tell them our name. I don't know what else I can do. 

This is my beautiful Callie Grace Moss. She is absolutely perfect in every way.