How do you think this would be perceived?

Question

My husband and I are having a baby and we are super excited! That being said we are also minimalists. Right now we're working on transitioning to a tiny, solar powered home. We've downsized our belongings and clothing and our personal items and decor. We would also like to raise our baby minimalistically. We don't want our house cluttered with annoying and loud baby toys (some are a real pain in the ass/space taker) we will be doing a simplistic Montessori nursery and spending as much time as possible with baby. We want them to gain their knowledge and enjoyment from timeless, simple toys and from spending quality time with my husband and I. 
We have found a nice way to say this to family and friends but we know people do not listen and just LOVE to buy annoying baby toys but my husband and I live in a small home already (750 sq feet) and will be asking people not to buy our child toys and if they do and the toy serves no real purpose or is loud and large we WILL return it or donate it. I know a lot of people would take offense to that but I feel like it would be rude to give someone's child something that they have stated they do not want in their home. We would rather our child not become accustomed to gifts (birthday gifts and Christmas gifts get to be a little too much in my opinion) and we would prefer that if you want to gift our child something then you spend quality time with them. That is how I was raised- my aunts would take me out for my birthday one at a time and we would get lunch or breakfast and hangout the whole day and I loved it more than opening some gift.

Do you think our choices would be perceived as a good choice?

Answer

I wish there was another option on this poll to say "people will probably say they respect this, but then do what they want." I feel like our situation is similar - we live in a very small 800-sf home by choice (of course my family's reaction when we told them we were expecting (this is our first and probably only): "well you're going to have to move somewhere bigger, right?" NOPE.) I am dreading fielding the sea of plastic blinking talking battery-operated crap my husband's family already piles on our nieces & nephews. I'm not sure how we're going to address it but I do know that sort of stuff is NOT going to be taking over our home. I know it's well-meaning, but it's not what we want or think is best for our child. How far along are you? I'd love to hear updates on how you're handling this and how people react.

Answer

If you get things you can't use or don't want your child to have you can teach your child the gift of charity. "Look at this beautiful toy, won't a child with nothing just love it!"

Answer

I love this idea! People don't realize that a simple rattle or blocks are so much better for a child than toys that over stim them. To answer your question, as much as I'd like to think they'd respect your wishes they probably won't sadly. I've seen situations similar to this happen when the parents don't want their kids around something and the grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. do it anyways because "it's their niece nephew, grandchild..." I think explaining it to them in a nice way will make it clear to most people, especially if you stress that the over stiming toys will be donated, no exceptions. Also, I'd watch what toys they're planning on keeping at their houses for the baby for situations where you may need the grandparents to watch baby or something like that

Answer

Can you make some sort of registry somewhere and list the toys/ books you'd like your child to have? Maybe make an Amazon wishlist and send it to people who express wanting to buy a gift? An easy way to avoid toys could also be to exclaim that the baby is growing so fast you need diapers and onesies and clothes rather than toys.

Answer

I think people will try to respect your choice but they may not fully understand it. I think you will still get a lot of gifts and some friends and family members will try to explain how their gift is small, can fit in a house, etc. 
just take a deep breath. You will have a hurdle to cross when the time comes. It's inevitable. But just approach it with the mind set that they will truly be trying, it just may not meet you minimalistic standards.  
I love you're lifestyle. Keep it up lady!

Answer

Good luck!! People don't care what the parents want they just want to buy cute shit for your babe. Ours was three weeks at Xmas and half our living room is taken over by her gifts. And shit we would never get her or even let her play with, even though everyone knows we live in a small apartment and don't like plastic crap.

Answer

Maybe ask for their favorite childhood book in lieu of the toys you don't want??

Answer

This made my day! I'm so happy here's others out there that feel this way 😊 me and my husband are going to do the same thing. It's yalls baby, don't let anyone put you down for the way you want to raise it. 👍🏼

Answer

It's awesome that you want to and can do that. But good luck. I've told everyone in my and my fiances family not to get our daughter any stuffed toys as she doesn't bother with them and doesn't need anymore. Do they listen? No. She has a big red bun over flowing with stuffed toys! And we live in a pretty small apartment, there's just no need.

Answer

You'll definitely piss people off, but who cares? People are pissed at me because I don't want a baby shower. Just be upfront with them and say something like, "we appreciate how giving you are, and we would love if you would give our little one experiences instead of things," and then offer them suggestions for what to get you. People like to give and they will appreciate knowing how they can give to your little one while still helping you maintain the minimalist lifestyle.

How do you think this would be perceived?

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