Here after horrific birth. 37w 4d 💙

Wednesday 28th 7.15 was given first pessary.  24 hours later, no pains. No dilation. 2nd pessary was given. 12 hours. Still nothing so a third was given. No pains over night. When examined the doc said I was only 2cm but was happy to take me to labour ward and break my waters! 

Waters were broken at 11.30. So we waited...  nothing!! So was given drip to try speed things up. Started on lowest dose 3ml and was increased every 20 mins till we got to the highest dose of 96ml and still no pains. No dilation. Was feeling very disheartened. 

Was then examined and given another sweep which FINALLY got things moving. 

Started having pains in my lower back and bum. Coming every few mins. Was given gas and air. Trying to find a comfy position was hard and baby started to not like it so was made to lie on side. Decsision was made to put clip on baby's head to monitor him better!... still only 2cm I begged for epidural as pain was quiete bad!.. was refused as doc wasn't happy with baby's CTG and heart rate... next thing a team rush in and want to establish how happy baby was. So a procedure was done to take blood from baby's head... that came back

Border line and still refused pain relief. Docs came back to take more blood from

Baby but before could get out baby's heart rate dropped so low they called code 1 emergency and I was rushed for emergency c section. Never seen so many people rush round me in my life. My husband was refused to come with me as they wanted baby out and had no time for spinal so was given GA and put to sleep!.. Baby Louis was born at 21.19 with cord round his neck twice!.. after they untied it he was fine. Me?.. I then bled out and lost 4 pints of blood. Needed a emergency blood transfusion. 

When I came round I was so happy to

See my boy. But never any more 💙

Louis Philip born 30/12/16 21.19pm weighing a tiny 6lb 💙 still in hospital but recovering well 💙