meet me. 17 y/o with multiple insecurities. not unique at all.

hey. im just another teen with self image issues. and no, im not fishing for compliments. i eat. a lot. i am far from comfortable with my body. im over 200 lbs and only 5'8. while some of my weight is muscle due to the sports I play, the rest is fat. purely fat. well i guess ill just start with my guy. he is ripped. fit. anything you can describe a man with muscle. and i can hardly sit up sometimes. he never lets me say im big, fat, ugly. nothing. i just don't feel like im anything but those things. my sister is absolutely gorgeous. Has a great body, great hair, great smile. and im disgusting. the thoughts of starving come to mind. everyday i sit and think "how small would I be if i didn't eat this." or "this is why im disgusting." i want to start starving. i want to be skinny. please help..