I hate TTC!!! I need some support!!!

So this past month my period was crazy only 2 days and then had some spotting after no blood at all for 3 days. This is my 9th month TTC and I'm getting so tired. I tried taking a test with my blood just to see what would happen because I've read that works and I got a dark very strong line but it's still not getting darker with urine. What is going on??? I hate these tests because I can always see a very faint line but if I were Pregnant I would be 4 wks so a test would for sure be positive by now. I'll post the tests below top is from Friday with my plasma from my blood and bottom is this evening. Please don't ignore I'm going crazy!!! Bottom test is tweaked btw!!!!