Anyone here with vaginismus? Please help!

I think I have vaginismus. Penetration hurts like crazy, like a sharp burning pain, even with lube and arousal. Not even talking penis here, I mean my bfs fingers. He's going slow, distracting me with kisses, and I had some wine beforehand to relax me, but still there was incredible pain!

When I try to finger myself it's not painful, I just can't get up my vagina.. I know where it is because I've used a tampon once and I look in the mirror so don't ask if I'm just missing the hole lol. I just can't get up at all.

I was only successfully fingered once but I was raging drunk so idk if my muscles were just relaxed?

Anyone here with this experience? What helped? How long did it take to be able to have sex?