awaiting diagnosis
A couple of days ago, I had a couple of suspicious lesions crop up in my genital area. I went to an urgent care center to get tested and the doctor said it definitely looks like herpes, but we will know for sure once the blood test results come in. I'm assuming that I do have it...this is incredibly painful and I feel like I have the flu. So I'm not holding onto false hope.
My husband is not taking it well, even though I've told him there's no way of knowing when I contracted it or from whom. He and I have not been intimate for months. Our marriage has been strained for some time and a couple of months ago, I started having an affair. I'm in love with this man and I trust him when he says he is clean. He is in love with me too and is being very supportive about the possibility of my diagnosis.
I just have so much guilt and shame on my shoulders. Not to mention having to live with the doubt: did one of them give it to me? Did I give it to both of them? It feels like I'm being punished for falling in love with someone else. I just want someone out there to listen without judgement. And someone to assure me here's life after this.
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