As I was growing up, the relationships of my parents and grandparents taught me a few things. One, the ones you want to stay won't, and two, if they want to stay you might have to settle. 

Sometimes the harsh truth comes out about romance in movies and in books, that it's just make believe. 

I watched as the women in my family were all single mothers raising children and barely making ends meat. Due to one situation or another everyone ended up unhappy and lonely or in a relationship for stability but emotionally unhappy, none the less. 

I pictured myself having the big wedding and a groom sweeping me off my feet by asking my grandmother for my hand in marriage. But as I grew older and had my hardships in college, I realized I didn't want to go through what they went through. I knew going to college and getting a job would make sure I didn't need to ever struggle to feed myself, but what about marriage and kids? I started slowly doubting myself and my abilities to trust men. 

After being sexually assaulted I became withdrawn and untrusting of even optimism. I didn't want to believe anything good could happen, otherwise I could get hurt again. I didn't know if one more bad thing would make me jump off the edge, literally. 

But maybe, if you believe in enough good and really really hope for something great to happen, it maybe could. Even after seeing the bottom of the pit that had sharp turns on the way down.