WHY DOES EVERYONE ASK ME THIS??

Question

OK, buckle up i need to vent and I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way! ... backstory: I'm 11 weeks and have started telling people I see often, people who need to know like coworkers and family and close friends. People I trust and love...

BUT... whenever I tell people, the 1st thing out of their mouth is, "was it on purpose?" Or some form of that question. It makes me so mad!

What do they mean by it? It's offensive. My DH and I were married this past April and I feel like when people ask if we meant to conceive, they're saying we shouldn't have.

The reality is we started trying 2 months before our wedding. So we got our bfp 8 months into trying. (Which I understand is a normal time, but it still sucked getting a period every month.)

I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting... thoughts anyone?

Answer

I would be so tempted to say "wow... did you just ask me a super personal question that's none of your business on purpose?"

Answer

Ugh I hated when people asked me that. My husband and I were engaged for a year before I got pregnant. We got married when I was 16 weeks and had only announced to close family and friends. Then when I announced at 20 weeks people were like "oh so that's why you got married huh?" I'm like no bitch we were already getting married on this day! Been planning it for a year now 😒idk why people are so concerned how your child came about

Answer

Asking in that way sounds very rude but surely most of them are asking because they want to know whether or not to jump up and down for you or to reassure you. Who knows?

Answer

I don't think they're trying to be rude. I think they're honestly just curious if you were trying or if this was sort of a surprise. I got it all the time in the beginning and it bothered me a little cause I'm just like why does it matter? Just say congratulations or leave me alone ya know? But you get so used to hearing the same questions by the time you're in the third trimester it won't even bother you anymore.

Answer

I've had many people ask me the same thing!! Like wth? I guess bc I'm 36 but yes it was very on purpose, and if it wasn't, it's not your business.

Answer

As we hadn't told anyone we were trying I wasn't upset at all that people asked me that. It was an exciting part of the reveal to me! I'm 33 and we have been married 5 years. We only tried to conceive for 10 months. I was always curious about things like that when  people would tell me they were pregnant for a few reasons: if it's a surprise, what birth control method were they using  (so I could avoid such methods), if it was planned how long had they waited before they had success (so I could accumulate an average of what was a normal amount of time to try before conception)?

I never thought of it as rude, just collecting helpful information I could use when my time came. Perhaps it feels like they are being prying or too personal but I'm sure most people are asking for the same reasons I used to: they want to learn more about pregnancy and increase their understanding.

Answer

You aren't overreacting, that would annoy me too. They might think it's too early for you all to be trying or they might think you guys are irresponsible and wouldn't be good parents. Who knows? The best way to find out is to ask them and let them know it hurts when people you trust and love so much asks you such things.

Answer

It's so rude. I'm not sure why people ask it either. What does the information tell them?  My only guess is that people want to talk about their own or their friend's experience of a surprise/trying for a long time/whatever. But I hate it too. Obviously you are happy about it otherwise you wouldn't be talking about it.

Answer

Maybe your age? Or the fact that it wasn't a year of being married when you got pregnant? Either way it's stupid and people need to not be so damn rude. Who cares if it was planned or not. That's none of their damn business. I was with my husband for 5 years before I ended up pregnant. We weren't married at the time either and his parents freaked. But we honestly we never cared much for marriage(well I didn't anyway) we planned on spending the rest of our lives together anyway. Sadly it ended in a miscarriage. Then the following year we fell pregnant again. This time we were married because my husband was secretly planning on proposing to me before I was pregnant the first time. His parents were ecstatic since we were married. Now I am pregnant again (found out right after my daughters first birthday) and my mil asked me if it was planned. I was pissed!!!  I replied with "no but were weren't preventing as well. We figured if it's meant to be then it'll happen" all she could say was "oh". I could tell she wasn't happy. Luckily my fil backed me up and was happy for us. Some people really need to think before they speak.

Answer

How old are you? Don't let it bother you. Just ignore them

WHY DOES EVERYONE ASK ME THIS??

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