My fiancé and I who have been together since 8-17-2012 engaged since 1-1-2015 and getting married 10-21-2017 have been trying to conceive for over two years now but its a little complicated.

When we first got together my period was never normal so i never knew when it would come, nor would i have one every month. I found out i was approximately 7-8 weeks pregnant when i had a miscarriage, my mother didnt know we were having sex and i was affraid to tell her. Something just didnt feel right the day i miscarried, i had horribke cramps so i went to the bathroom to find a huge clot/tissue in my underwear and when i sat down i felt it start to fall out, still afrain to tell my mom i had no choice to flush and hide all the evidence. Never went to the doctor or had a DNC

Exactly 6 weeks after my miscarriage my cousin told me she was about 6 weeks pregnant. Now i dont know how you feel about rebirth but i have that strong connection to my cousins daughter that a mother would have. The picture i posted is my fiance on the left, my cousins little girl in the middle and me on the right hand side all at about the same age. Everyday i look at that little girl and my hear breaks, she should be mine why is she not with me.

Now as my fiancé and i continue to try for our rainbow baby i just get tore down by all the people around me getting pregnant and having babies. When will it ever be my turn.

To this day my parents still dont know about my miscarriage ir do they know were ttc because my parents want us to wait until i graduate college and my mom works at a dr office so i cant make an appointment for prenatal because my mom can look at my charts anytime. So we continue to try by ourselves.

Just like getting my story out there for others and support in this hard time.