Do you ever feel like

You are going to be the worst mother ever ? (Just letting out sorry if i make no sense i just write how i feel)

Im 25 weeks and i just can't snap myself out of this big black hole.

I've dealt with depression since i was a kid and learned to live with it. Learned to get myself out of if. But now being pregnant and having my fiance of 4 years walk out on me as soon as he got me pregnant (we had been trying for 2 years) its been so hard. I have never been alone . Its always been one of my biggest fears. And now im living in it.. and i just can't help but think how the fuck am i going to do this ALONE. Had i known i would have made sure to not get pregnant. I gave this man EVERYTHING . Specially my trust.

Im so mad. But mostly i am terrified. My poor baby will have no father. . Hes stuck with just me. And i have nothing to give ... nothing but love. Im a mess of a person. Currently unable to work due to obvious personal reasons and medical... So i have no money.. im barely able to get myself food and to my appointments...

I know that when my boy is here my mom super powers will kick in. I know my ugly depression will fade away and i will know what to do. And ill forget the stupid asshole that broke my heart. But for now ill just be full of fear of failing my little baby .