Scared to have second baby :(

So I have a one year old and after him I thought I was gonna reach my dreams of being in the military and showing him that I could still do it and that I did it for him. Now I am pregnant with my second child and kinda really bummed that I can't join now. I feel like I failed my son because I didn't join and this second baby means a stop to a lot of things that I don't even get to do a lot. I know i sound selfish but growing up my dad was strict and even after my son I figured he and I can still do things but with a second one I feel like o can't. I'm afraid I'm going to be one of those stressed out moms who never have time to even take a shower or pee. I love this baby just scares of all the change that it brings.