Grandparents overstepping boundaries
This is a long post...I don't usually post but I'm so upset and I need the opinions from other moms. My in laws started over stepping boundaries as soon as I went into labor. My mil texted my husband throughout my entire labor trying to convince me not to have an epidural because it would "slow down my labor." My labor was very standard and I was in 100% control. Not to mention it's my body and my labor. It ended with my husband and I getting in a fight during my labor because I was begging for pain relief and he was mad because I wasn't taking his mom's advice. The pain was so bad and my contractions were coming so quickly and intensely that I couldn't even push (I pushed for 4 hours because of this). Between then and 5 months later there were many things they did that overstepped boundaries but nothing as bad as what happened most recently. Recently they've started insisting that they watch my baby overnight at 5 months old (they also watch him 1 day a week while I'm at work so they already get lots of time with him alone). I work full time and do not see the need to have a break from my baby overnight (especially since my husband and I travel for work and the time I get with my baby is incredibly important to me). My husband and I also get plenty of dates (usually twice a month) so I don't feel like I've neglected quality time with my husband either. My in laws kept insisting to my husband that they take him while I wasn't in the room. My baby is EBF and I already expressed that I didn't have enough supply on hand for an overnight at the time. Well, an hour later I overhear my FIL say to my husband that he's going to go to the grocery store and pick up formula so they can take the baby. My well intentioned husband agrees and they begin to pack the baby up. I walk in and politely say that we are going to take him home because he's EBF and I don't have enough food (not to mention he's never had formula...you don't just go to the grocery store and pick up formula like you're picking up eggs). That triggered a very snarky response from my FIL about me "being the mother" and how "all his kids were formula fed and turned out fine." (Btw, I'm a 100% believer that fed is best, but my decision is to EBF my baby and that's not my FIL's call to make). This really enraged me. Fast forward to the next day and I am reluctantly agreeing to let them take the baby for an overnight so that my husband can sleep (this time I have enough milk). They take him and drop him off at daycare the next day. The daycare provider calls me to tell me that my son is incredibly distraught and is having an awful day (great, now this is all I can think of while at work). Later that day my in laws tell me that they cried when they dropped him off at daycare. This was the last straw and I finally said to them that they are overstepping boundaries. They were thankfully apologetic but I'm cautious about the future. Has anyone else dealt with grandparents that confuse the line between being a parent and a grandparent? Is it possible that grandparents can be too helpful?
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