I think I hate my mom....
When I was little, my mom mentally checked out. She suffered from extreme depression after her sister died & she's never been the same since. She turned to alcohol & Xanax to cope and got addicted to both. I just vididly remember a change in her in the way she acted toward me. She went from being a loving mother to talking down to me, calling me names, and never being there for me. She literally wouldn't even touch me.
As I grew older, we grew apart. I'm now a married adult living 70+ miles away and expecting my first child. It's like my mother expects me to drop everything to tend to her & it's almost like she expects me to give her my baby or something. (I say that because she literally enrolled my cousin into school & told my cousin's mom that she should live with my mother because it'll be a better home life... wtf. And my mother said that if we're at her house she keeps the baby/sleeps with the baby.)
I'm very close with my husband's mom & she's been there for me since I was in high school (when my husband and I started dating). She's who I turn to, not my mother. My mother has made such a big deal about my relationship with my MIL before but it's worse now that they're going to be grandparents. She's jealous of how much my kid will see my MIL & she's not even here yet.
I hate to be around my mother & I don't want my daughter to ever feel the way my mother made me feel. And my mother isn't exactly a responsible adult. She drinks heavily (but is still pretty functional), she says mean/rude stuff to people's face & behind their back, and when my daughter gets older I fear my mother will tell her everything that's "wrong" with her the way she did me.
Idk what to do 😔
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