Everyone says she's the most happy baby they've ever seen

Just so you know, there is a bit of a graphic picture in this article of a miscarried baby.

I just want to say, my first pregnancy didn't go well, at 20 weeks I had given birth, my water broke and I lost my little boy. The doctors had no interest in trying to save him so I refused to give birth until his heart stopped beating. The doctor who delivered my baby kept calling me mama, she'd say "good job momma you're doing good" and it made it worse. He was also born with his shoulder ripped off. That was the hardest thing I've ever been through. And there are things that I felt that I could never describe, I was even haunted in my dreams. The worst part was I had just been transferred to California (I was in the Navy) and I was completely alone with no family or friends since it was a new place. When I went back onto the base to checkout for "maternity leave" a little boy came running over and mistook me for his mother, he said "mommy!" And came running as his dad corrected him. It was like everything that could go wrong, did.

A few years later I had a dream about a toddler following me around, in my dream I was depressed for some reason and I didn't want my life to continue, but everywhere I went this toddler was there as if to tell me I wasn't alone. That morning I texted my boyfriend and told him how odd the dream was because of how much the toddler had stuck out. A couple weeks later my period was 4 days late and I found out I was pregnant! The dream had made sense, but one women mentioned that the toddler may not be the child I was about to have, that it was my previous child that I had lost, telling me everything was ok. Now I don't believe in people sticking around after death, or atleast I hadnt, but everytime I think about how the idea of the toddler in my dream was comforting to me, I can't help but question things. I'm not sure what it all meant. About a month later after finding out I was pregnant I had a dream that my boyfriend was taking care of a little baby girl. Come to find out she was a girl.

Well my 2nd pregnancy went much better than my first, as she made it to almost 39 weeks in my tummy. I had an all natural birth and had little problems with breastfeeding (especially compared to some of you other women who are troopers).

She's a beautiful girl, smiling since the first day she was born. Idk how I got so lucky to have such a low maintenance and happy child. Maybe it's all the love or maybe God felt a little bad for me about the first time? Everywhere we go she's so well behaved and everyone loves her. They can't get over how alert and happy she is. On Valentine's day we went to dinner with her and all the waitresses loved her and kept commenting on how much she loves me because everytime she'd look at me she had a huge smile. I am so grateful to have her here. My little Rini <3