Love & Sex
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i cheated and it's getting worse i need help
i cheated on my boyfriend. i went to a chillin with a girl who was sleeping with another girls boyfriend (i should've known not to go), got extremely drunk/high, and ended up hooking up with both guys there (both had girlfriends). not sex, still very bad. the girl got mad at me because she wanted one of the boys to herself even though they are both in other relationships. i broke down and called my boyfriend immediately afterwards and told him everything. we're working through it but the rest of my life is slowly falling apart. the girl won't stop harrassing us and telling him i haven't told him everything and i'm so terrified something happened that night that i forgot about. we've blocked her on everything and she gave him a physical note accusing me of lying to him. she's playing the victim and avoiding the classes we have together to make it seem like i'm the instigator (which is not true as she has started every one of our conflicts since the night i cheated, even after i told her to leave us alone and stop talking to me). one of the guys i hooked up with, whom i refused to be in a relationship with after it happened, has been calling me a ho on a daily basis and harrassing me verbally because i rejected him. i don't know what to do. i know i deserve this and have taken full responsibility, but these people are torturing me and there isn't anything i can do to stop it. i'm depressed again and my anxiety hasn't been this bad in years. i don't know what to do. i contemplate suicide often, but don't want to run from the problem i created. please help me.