2nd mmc in 5 months.. I'm so broken

I found out back in September that my baby had no heartbeat at 11.5 weeks and had to have a d&c and then after 3 months I got pregnant with my Rainbow baby just to find out 2 days ago that there was no heartbeat at 6.5 weeks and had a d&c yesterday. I'm emotionally such a mess, I'm not sure what to feel anymore. I want this baby so bad and my body is failing me. I've had healthy pregnancies so I don't know what's going on. Please had someone gone through this and got their healthy baby?